There is measured fury today from Team GB at the news the International Olympic committee has refused Team GB’s request to have ‘the long game’ recognised as a sport and to be included in competition the next time London hosts the Olympics.
“It never ends,” Olympic official, Mr Un Bribable told LCD Views’ sports desk, “at first we thought they were talking about test match cricket. We considered that, now it has day night format, four day potential and different coloured balls.”
But it seems once the committee discovered it was actually a political game interest cooled quickly.
“Yes, the Olympics goes for a couple of weeks, so a game over a few days maybe possible, so long as not many countries in the world were interesting in competing in it.
But a game that goes over years? A movement game?
Where you have to build a movement and the nurture it, and then deal with factional infighting at the same time as your opponent is dealing with factional infighting and is incredibly vulnerable, but you refuse to go on all out attack?
What is the point of that? When you see an open goal but refuse to strike because you’d prefer to strike in the 52,000th minute, just because.
We understand the scoring system deducts points from your team in penalties while you refuse to attack a weakened opponent and gives it to them too.
I don’t see how anyone is going to win, given there is no actual specified length of play either and the team captain is generally only found in small halls complaining no one gives him attention.”
Asked for comment, Team GB financial director, John said,
“I like that the first half of this game doesn’t finish until 2022.
That’s several years away and I rather like a movement game that never ends, it makes me feel important every morning with no possibility of having to stop playing, or even winning.”