Global Britain 2.0 publishing house has launched the exciting and new “Bob the Brexiter” series to teach reception age children about cannibalism and how to survive in near future Britain.
Our education supplement editor, Rosie Searchlight, spoke to the head of Global Britain 2.0 publishers to find out more about this mad development.
“Fanfannyfantastiloosic!” Chief editor of kid’s books, Mr Johnson Johnson, told Rosie,
“When the aaaaa, esteemed and much cherished Department for Edu-edumacation asked us to work hand in glove with the Nadine Dorris Institute for Idiots to devise, design and ultimately launch like a comet into a field jam packed with giant reptlies, the Bob the Brexiter series, we couldn’t wait to get our big fingers into that pie and rip chunks out and smear them over our cheeks like a toddler faced with a bag of chocolates.”
Great to see such enthusiasm for going forward. Whose actual concept was it?
“Well, it’s a little intentionally derivative. We studied the plots of USA neocon financial long cons, the trickle down lark, we mixed in some of the shame the institutions that are the foundations of democratic politics, really run them down over time, so you can take control, bit of that stuff, and then we slammed a whole help of ‘Lord of the Flies’ in for good measure. It’s bloody good fun.”
But what about early reports from some parents that their children have started crying midway through reading the first “Bob the Brexiter” book, seemingly having confused it with a long running series where a competent team of professionals overcome obstacles to construct something worthwhile?
“Fibble fabble. All children. Absolutely every single mite who has gotten one of the first editions in their hands has got to the end and thrown up in excitement.”
That’s reassuring.
“And thanks to our colleagues at the Department for Health for organising the coming promotional tour of all schools when Nadine, from the Nadine Dorris Institute for Idiots, will be along to give away sensibly priced signed copies to everyone present.
She’ll also be asking everyone to join a WhatsApp group with her, because apparently, even though she helped write them, she doesn’t quite understand the books.
It actually got a bit sticky. But she convinced herself that if something is too complex for you to understand you should throw it out. Kind of like the concept of brain surgery. Just put it in the can because you personally don’t get it.
Now that’s the way to design a future for all our happy little readers!”
Get your copy today! But be careful when you read it. Those recipes featured at the end of each chapter will come in handy one day!