LCD Views have taken the silken cloth off our crystal ball this morning and in it seen that Labour are in a jubilant mood after former Secretary of State for Education, Justine Greening, crossed the floor. That may not sound like the best set up, but just imagine if it happened, how much would you laugh?
”They’ve been working hard since the June 8th general election to make one crack,” Krad Nibats told LCD Views,
“Activists have been on the pavement week in and week out in any constituency where a Tory MP saw their majority cut from ‘I can vote for a return of child labour, match factories and Brexit’ to ‘omg omg omg’.”
It’s believed it was just a matter of time till one of the senior Conservative MP’s said sod this and left the party, knowing that in the coming general election they would be swept out of their seat and into the political dustbin anyway.
It’s coming. It’s coming. Beware the Ides of March.
“It’s actually been on the cards since the following scene played out in early January in the prime minister’s office,” Krad Nibats added, and handed us a couple of sheets of script.
INT. Prime Minister Theresa May’s Office – Day
A tired woman sits rigid behind a desk. She’s a husk.
She’s attempting to click her fingers in time with a grandfather clock in the corner. But she isn’t able to do it. Always a fraction late as the second hand ticks.
This is Theresa May, prime minister of the United Kingdom. Somehow.
It looks like there’s wires attached to her shoulders and arms, pulling her up towards an invisible puppet master.
A few nervous underlings pace back and forth. They stare at their phones. No one makes eye contact with anyone else.
Theresa’s desk would be an acre of empty space without the one thing placed on it.
A tarantula in a glass case.
CLOSE ON
The tarantula as it reaches lazily up the side of its tank. See those fangs. Make them huge.
Stay on the tarantula and hear the door to the office open.
Theresa
“Ah, so good of you to come Justine.”
Justine
“Skip the sweet talk Theresa. We all know why I’m here. And I’ll tell you how it’s going to go.”
PULL BACK
See Theresa transfixed. Terrified. She’s been terrified for so long now. She never knows what to do.
END SCENE
It’s coming.