The moon is, normally, white. The recent supermoon was also a red ‘blood’ moon, and a blue moon too. This triple phenomenon is to be called a Brexitmoon from now on.
LCD Views’ resident astronomer, Patrick Moore-Or-Less, explains. “The moon was closer than usual to earth and appeared bigger than normal, hence ‘super’,” he said. “It was also eclipsed, which gives it the red ‘blood’ colour. This only happens once in a blue moon!”
Mr Moore-Or-Less went on to talk about the science behind a Brexitmoon, using words like perigee, ecliptic, and ellipse. At this point we had had enough of him and shoved him back into his lab.
Government loyalists were naturally overjoyed. “It’s an astroturfical monocle!” said a source close to Boris Johnson. “I intend to… I mean, Mr Johnson intends to build a bridge to the Brexitmoon as soon as Carillion’s finances mysteriously recover.”
One of Jacob Rees-Mogg’s chimney sweeps also commented on his behalf. “I am employed to make sure that his stovepipe hats are always in tip-top working order,” he said. “Mr Rees-Mogg believes that the Brexitmoon is a sign of approval from God himself.”
Over the pond, Donald Trump is also excited by the supermoon. “The biglymoon is due to my powers as President,” he tweeted. “The Flag is red, white and blue. Their it is. The moon is now American territory. I achieved what Obama couldn’t. Great news!”
We tried to send Mr Moore-Or-Less to interview the Man in the Moon. Unfortunately, the British space programme now consists of one mad flat-earther with a home-made rocket powered by charcoal briquettes. Our expert was last seen with a cat and a fiddle, looking for a jumping cow.
We may never know whether the Man in the Moon has shown his true colours at last. The waning moon is back to normal for now. The next Brexitmoon will not occur for another 19 years.
It is a rare and transient phenomenon. Like Brexit, we hope.