LCD Views’ Pride of the Nation correspondent has deep pleasure in complying with a Home Office order to announce the following,
“Your government of experts has embarked on a joint initiative between DExEU and the MoD to rewrite, re-record and re-release the timeless classic ‘Rule, Britannia!’ to reflect the growing pride felt by all Britons as we sail into Brexit.”
The release continues by quoting excerpts of the updated lyrics, such as, “Rule, Britannia!, Britannia rules the waves, with…a…border volunteer force…all….ways”.
And,
“When Britain first, at Rupert’s command Cut itself out of the single market and customs union of half a billion people,
And guardian angels sang this strain:
We, will, get better trade deals for offshore billionaires when we negotiate on our own!
Rule, Britannia! Xenophobia rules the airwaves: Britons never will be slaves with…a… Border…volunteer force…all ways!”
It goes on like this for half an hour or so and will be sung each morning in schools to start the day from when schools reopen for 2020.
This will be followed by press ganging of students into naval service, but only at comprehensive schools.
Metropolitan elites have criticised the reworking of the classic as simplistic jingoism that will only appeal to credulous inward looking voters concerned about the colour of their passport and not its function.
“Those types are going to be dealt with,” a home office minister reassured, before putting on a large hat made of ostrich.
In order to assist all patriots in learning the revised lyrics special audio cassettes of “Rule, Britannia 2.0!” will be released with each edition of the Daily Mail until Brexit Day.
Get yours today and burn it, in a patriotic way!