LCD Views has the scoop today on the trials and tribulations currently being faced by world famous weatherman Jon Snow as he attempts to provide a comprehensive forecast for the months ahead.
”He’s not a bastard. Let’s get that clear at the start,,” a talking wolf told us on the condition of anonymity.
Well, he knows who his mum and dad are now. So we can put that to rest, yes. But what about winter?
“Winter is refusing to say when it’s coming this year, normally every year Winter tells Jon it’s coming. And it keeps telling him. And it doesn’t stop telling him. And he tells all of us. But this year…”
Quite what Mr Snow will do is anyone’s guess if he can’t get the lowdown soon.
”He’s time on his side, as he’s not your day to day weather person. No point asking him if it will be good weather for a picnic on the weekend. He’ll just look at you as if you’re insane. He’s a seasonal specialist. You’d think just the inevitable tilting of the Earth on its axis would be a clue for him, but in these crazy times, you can’t be sure of anything.”
Surely he’s bigger fish to fry anyway?
”You mean his complex love life and the legal issues relating to recent discoveries of who he’s been shagging? And the potential for complication of fragile harmonies relating to a life and death war against evil?”
Around that general area, yes.
”Oh, good. For a moment I worried you were going to say winter was already here.”