‘Twas the night before Christmas…
…and in the little town of Bedlam, the police were called to a suspected burglary. A portly chap, heavily disguised and carrying a sack full of swag, had become stuck up a chimney.
The police were called by eagle-eyed Neighbourhood Watcher Tom Peeping, known locally as ‘Snoop Snoopy Snoop’. Snoop had observed the whole incident through his laser-assisted binoculars from the observation tower in his converted garden shed.
“I saw this bloke arrive, seemingly from nowhere, and squeeze into houses through the chimney,” explained Snoop. “It was very suspicious. Luckily I have the local police station on speed dial.”
By now the fire brigade had also arrived to assist in the rescue. The man was hauled to safety, with a loud ‘pop’ and a cloud of soot as he finally emerged.
The man, who gave his name as Nick Saint, looked suitably embarrassed. “I was handing out gifts, not stealing them,” he muttered grumpily. “Next year I need to lay off the mince pies!”
Surprisingly, Chief Inspector Bobby Rozzer confirmed Nick’s story. “The public tell us that presents have been brought into their homes, not the other way round,” he said. “Saint refused our offer of help, preferring to ask the fire brigade to get him back onto the roof.”
The only other person not entirely satisfied with the events was Snoop. “I still don’t buy his story,” he moaned, his net curtains twitching. “And I’m not a nosey parker or a gossip, whatever herself at number 29 says. I can lip-read her quite clearly!”
Snoop was unrepentant, and would tell anybody who cared to listen that the strange man was wearing a false beard, had an unlicenced sleigh, and ‘looked a bit foreign’.
Snoop went on to lodge a complaint about the mysteriously large amount of reindeer dung subsequently dumped in his garden.