The renewed swathe of resignations from government over Brexit is kicking off again, with Dominic Raab’s quitting his job as Brexit secretary prompting many people to ask if a Brexit deal that will actually work is even possible.
Well, the answer is there, according to experts – albeit not political experts but archaeologists. One Dr Henry Jones Jr had this to say on the matter:
“The Brexit deal is something I’ve come across mentioned in many ancient historical documents. Artefacts that date back to biblical times say it was placed in the Ark of the Covenant along with the Ten Commandments.”
So if we could get our hands on that, then we’d have a fighting chance of making Brexit work? Not according to Dr Jones.
“I actually did find it on my travels, but was beaten to the punch by a bunch of Nazis, and as it turns out I’m glad I was, because when I saw what happened to them all I’m glad. It turned out anyone who looked inside the Ark died horribly.”
Does that mean we now know where the Ark is?
Dr Jones’ colleague, one Professor Marcus Brody, picked up the story:
“The US Government took the Ark away a few years back and sealed it up in storage. It’s going to be rather difficult for anyone to get their hands on it, especially at present times.”
That’s a pity. For a moment it looked like the Ark of the Covenent might be the solution to all our problems, our Holy Grail if you like.
At this Dr Jones shuddered and said, “don’t mention that to me – I found that the following year and you wouldn’t believe the hoops I had to jump through to get my hands on it. And just as we were leaving the temple there was an earthquake and the Grail was lost forever when it fell into a chasm. Even my father said it was time to let it go, and he’d devoted his whole life to finding it. Besides, after seeing what that thing was capable of, I’m not sure I’d want to find it again.”
So in other words we’re no closer to solving the mystery that is making Brexit work. I asked Dr Jones if he knew of any other historical artefacts that might help, and he said he’d let me know, but he was not optimistic.
The search continues.