A role playing fantasist, made famous by the BBC reality TV series BBCQT, has sought to get back into the limelight today by announcing to the collection of Russian bots, FBI investigators and true born British idiots who follow him on social media that he is to undergo a re-birthing ceremony in the hope of changing his nationality.
”It’s perfectly simple,” he posted online during one of his marathon posting sessions nicknamed ‘Inner thoughts of fascist leaning hypocrite’,
“if I’m to have any hope of keeping up with my two children, who I have already secured EU27 FOM for, by way of German passports, I’m going to need a German passport myself. I’ve tried to get one as an Englishman, but the bigots in Berlin wouldn’t give me one, even though I can claim to have successfully copulated twice with a German woman.”
In order to break the impasse with the unreasonable German authorities, the man has come up with a novel idea.
”I want to continue to be able to sit in the EU parliament as an MEP after Brexit. I really doubt I’ll get my redundancy payoff after the U.K. leaves as the officious bean counters in Brussels keep docking my pay for minor accounting irregularities, the kind of little errors anyone could innocently make, so I’ll need to change my nationality to keep getting paid for not doing a job I’ve repeatedly been elected to do.”
And the novel idea?
”It’s really very straightforward,” the man explained, “I’m going all 70’s hippy and having a re-birthing ceremony. And I’m doing it in Berlin. That way the day after I do it I can have a new German passport with my birthdate listed as yesterday.”
Which coincidentally is the birth date of anyone who believes a word he says.