UK prime minister Theresa May has confirmed that she has accepted an invitation to replace Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham as the fifth Spice Girl for next year’s Spice Girl’s UK tour.
A spokesman for 10 Downing street explained that having successfully masterminded the UK’s liberation from the world’s largest free trade zone, and the complete and utter destruction of the UK economy, on April 1st, Mrs May feels that she is entitled to a little down time from politics.
“The Prime Minister would like to have time to spend on her other interests such as wearing outrageously over the top outfits and perfecting her embarrassing “granny dancing” moves,” he said, denying that her private office had been in touch with Lady Gaga for sartorial advice.
“I think we can say that she’s well “gaga” enough already,” smirked the spokesman.
A spokesman for the newly reformed Spice Girls also confirmed that Mrs May would be joining the four aging singers on their newly announced UK tour next year.
“The girls have been very impressed by Theresa’s dress sense and her dancing ability and her complete disregard for what the people “really really want”, and feel that her cultured accent more than qualifies her to be the new “Posh,” he said denying that Mrs May’s complete lack of singing ability was likely to present a problem.
“They’re going to be miming to a backing track just like all their other live appearances so no one will notice if she sounds like a bag of nails in a smoothie maker,” he added.
Commenting on the news legendary music writer Trailer Parts suggested that Mrs May’s decision in many ways represents the ideal career move and could even spark a trend.
“The transition from dishonest vacuous, self serving politician peddling hollow slogans like “Red White and Blue Brexit” to vacuous, money grabbing “singer” peddling hollow slogans like “girl power” is quite a natural one requiring little refocusing,” he explained.
According to Parts other leading politicians are expected to follow her lead, with rumours circulating that former Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg has been invited to cement his epoch defining blandness by dueting with Coldplay, with Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn’s insistence on supporting Brexit apparently having impressed the two remaining members of Nirvana, to the extent that they are about to offer him the chance to front a reunion tour in place of the late Kurt Cobain.
“If dragging the entire Labour movement over the Brexit precipice isn’t the metaphorical equivalent of blowing your own head off with a shotgun I don’t know what is,” he explained.