Saint George’s Hospital in south London is in lockdown today after a surprise patient was rushed to the famous hospital’s A&E department earlier today with suspected Brexit poisoning.
LCD Views has a correspondent at the hospital, who was receiving a triple bypass they were not expected to survive when the drama begun to unfold like a freezing and toxic fog.
Their survival was at first thought to be miraculous, but now it seems likely they made it through because Death itself was taken seriously ill at exactly the time of the surgery.
We phoned them up and told them to get out of that bed and interview a consultant treating the unexpected visitor.
They sent in this interview with Emergency Medicine and Poisoning Specialist, Doctor Arch Angel.
”Shortly before 11am this morning we were altered by emergency services that a black garbed individual with distinctive facial features and a fondness for old agricultural equipment had been taken ill at Clapham Junction Station waiting for the delayed 07:32 Southern Trains service to Brighton…”
An ambulance was dispatched to the station with orders to avoid all skin contact with the stricken commuter, just in case it was DWP Secretary Esther McVey.
But on arrival at the scene it was discovered it was actually her servant, the Grim Reaper.
”Mr Reaper was rushed to the hospital and immediately placed in an isolation ward. From the smell, the rapid progress of symptoms and the clear highly transmitable nature of the substance causing the dramatic loss of all vital organs of state, one after another, we immediately diagnosed Brexit poisoning.”
The Grim Reaper is now in intensive care, but the specialists confronted with the case are unsure if they will be able to help with any recovery at all.
”This is not my first brush with death,” Dr Angel said, “but I am uncertain if even my years of experience can affect a reversal in the patient’s deterioration. Why Death decided to touch Brexit we can only guess, if it was deliberate and not accidental, but I suspect it’s because he thought it would be fun to kill not only the Tory Party with it, but the careers of numerous Labour MPs too.”
The emergency services have since issued a reminder that all members of the public should never, under any circumstances, touch or ingest Brexit.
”It’s not a game, like poker, it’s life and death. It’s particularly dangerous to spoilt children as can be seen by what’s happening currently in parliament.”