The United Nations have shown solidarity with the United Kingdom, during its current metamorphosis from sensible global citizen to basket case, by recognising the U.K. as the world’s first official Idiocracy.
“It is a hotly contested field,” UN spokesman Mrs Nnited Uations told LCD View’s first world problems analyst, “You would have thought that the US, by electing a man who confessed blithely to sexual assaults as president, would have been a shoe in. But plucky little Global Britain has got its nose to the fore and scooped the accolade of first Idiocracy on Earth.”
The surge by the UK that sees it take the prize was powered by the official appointment of a minister to oversee food shortages.
“America starves its poor. The UK starves its poor. It’s neck and neck in that thanks to right wing policies, primarily fuelled by the thinking (if you can call it that) of libertarian, darwinian tossers, but to actually plan to starve your entire population?
“And to announce a minister to that end. And to expect to stay in government after? An industrialised, first world country with an interconnected and highly efficient supply chain of food, which the intention is to tear to threads at the stroke of a clock just so a bunch of currency speculators can get even richer? Wow. Now that’s a level of national idiocy that even Trump hasn’t managed, yet.”
Prime Minister Ms May is to receive a gold plated ration book later today, in recognition of her government’s achievement, and she will be asked to share it with the leader of the official opposition, as it is really a cross party effort.
“You can’t turn your country into an Idiocracy with an official opposition actually opposing the policy agenda that does it,” the UN rep explained, “but you know what they say, never interrupt an elected representative in the middle of a taxpayer funded meal. No matter how many lives will be thrown into calamity by the pursuit of Idiocracy, at least 650 bellies will always be full.”