Boris Johnson to narrate new series of Little Britain

A new series of the sketch show “Little Britain” has been commissioned by the BBC, featuring updated versions of the classic characters, with the intention of depicting everyday life in a post-Brexit Britain.

Original stars Matt Lucas and David Walliams are still going to be writing the show, but this time will be staying behind the camera, as the show is made up of an all-new cast.

Boris Johnson will be taking over Tom Baker’s role as narrator, beginning each episode with the trademark call of “Britain, Britain, Britain,” before fleshing it out with various made-up facts and statistics.

The fast-talking Vicky Pollard will be played by Theresa May, who will respond to any questioning with “yeah but no but . . .” before embarking on a series of quick-fire gossipy backstabbing.

“We really would have preferred to get Donald Trump for that part,” admits Lucas. “But we had to work within the confines of a British cast, and Theresa just seemed right for the role.”

The charcter of Emily Howard, the world’s worst transvestite, will be played by Jacob Rees-Mogg, while Women’s Institute member Maggie Blackmoor, who would vomit over anybody in sight on discovering that any food she had consumed had been made by someone who was either foreign or gay, will be played by Nigel Farage.

“Nigel was just perfect for the part,” Walliams acknowledged. “We didn’t want to bring back that character unless we could get someone really good for it, and he was a perfect fit.”

The most changed character in the show however will be Dafydd Thomas, formerly “the only gay in the village”, he is now “the only socialist in the village” and will be played by Jeremy Corbyn, with Diane Abbott playing opposite him as Myfanwy the bartender who is constantly pointing out that there are many more socialists in the village than he thinks, only to be met with blind insistence to the contrary by a man who yearns to be victimised for what he believes are his unique qualities.

“That was a really tricky one,” Lucas explains. “We had to make it something different to what it was before, and we just couldn’t think of an updated angle on Dafydd. Then Jeremy came along and it all fell into place.”

Filming is due to commence next month, and the series will be aired in April of 2019, assuming anyone still has the facilities to watch it.

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