“Global Britain is not a laughing stock,” a representative of the TPA told the nation this morning, while filling in as primary content provider on BBC Radio 4’s flagship Today programme, during Nigel Fuhrerage’s hate tour of Australia.
“And with the MOD following our disinterested advice to refit HMS Queen Elizabeth as a scallop trawler, just to piss off the French, everyone will know that the grate is permanent in Great Britain.”
The move to hang rigging and nets off the brand, spanking new, state of the art and probably already hacked by the Kremlin, aircraft carrier serves another purpose too.
”It was planned just to sail the HMS Queen Elizabeth around the aisles of white and back, while we wait for the vessel to become obsolete waiting for aircraft, but with the deliberate policy of irritating the French in order to ramp up proper British potatriotism for Brexit, now we’re really going to give readers of the Sun and the Express something to masticate over.”
Quite what the French will do about British military might dredging the last scallop out of traditionally shared fishing grounds is anyone’s guess.
”Well it’s not like they’re going to ask the Germans for help, is it?” the TPA rep scoffed, “Global Britain’s divide and conquer the EU strategy has moved into a new phase now that we have successfully shattered their unity in Brexit negotiations by sending pieces of chipboard over to stare in confusion for years at Barnier and his bits of paper.”
Britannia rules the waves still and with the shattering of the industry agreement the other week regarding fishing grounds, we’re showing just how mighty we now are at waiving the rules of the waves.