A new snooker manual has been withdrawn from sale after serious issues were found with the strategies it advises.
The book, written by the pro-Brexit campaign, has caused some controversy after it transpired that in every situation, the shot it recommends is a foul stroke.
Former world champion Steve Davis had this to say on the book:
“It’ll give you a situation where you’re trying to pot a red, and it’ll always recommend hitting the red onto one of the other colours to pot that instead. Especially the black or the brown.”
This strategy was defended by Jacob Rees-Mogg, who explained:
“Well there’s more reds than any other ball on the table, and they’re only worth one point each, but potting the other balls rack up a lot more points, so you should just use your cue ball to get the majority to knock those non-conformist coloured balls into the holes for you. Simple really.”
Except that all the points from that shot will go to the other side, because that’s how fouls work in snooker.
“Well really,” retorted Mr Rees-Mogg. “That’s not right at all. You should get the points for any balls you pot while you’re at the table regardless of colour. Besides, those coloured balls, you think you’ve got rid of that dirty-looking brown one, but back it comes again, the referee puts it back on a spot. When I play snooker, I see to it that the black and brown are eliminated from the game as quickly as possible.”
He also went on to describe the yellow ball as “shifty”, the pink as “obviously homosexual” and the green as “a total waste of time.”
Steve Davis has since offered to show Mr Rees-Mogg how to play the game properly. There has been no reply as yet.