Brexiters have accused the EU of being deliberately obstructive over Brexit. How dare they follow rules, rules that the UK helped draft, don’t forget.
Also included on the charge sheet is attention to detail. Pesky little inconveniences, such as facts, are getting in the way of the UK’s grand vision.
LCD Views sought the opinion of vocal Leaver Francis Onligudfa-Hollidays. “The EU is deliberately blocking Brexit,” he stated. “It’s quite simple, we want out, we voted to leave, but they won’t let us. Because of so-called ‘rules’. The EU only exists because we Brits wrote those rules for them. Now we want to take back control of our laws!”
Onligudfa-Hollidays paused to consult the list of stock phrases that Brexit Central had conveniently given to him. “The undemocratic EU needs to recognise British democracy,” he blurted at last. “Their attention to detail is unnecessary, everyone knows the Devil is in the detail, we are trying to get the Devil out of the UK. Why should we accept lectures about procedure from unelected Brussels bureaucrats? God, I hate the French!”
While Mr Onligudfa-Hollidays continued to gibber and froth at the mouth, LCD Views consulted pro-EU commentator Francis R Brother. “Rules are our friends,” he claimed. “They help the childish mind to think upon the right lines. Rule, Britannia!”
“Britannia waives the rules!” spluttered Onligudfa-Hollidays. “Britons never, never, never shall be taken for fools!”
“Unfortunately, that’s just the problem,” explained Brother. “Enough of the people have been fooled enough of the time to believe that Brexit is a walk in the park, a piece of cake. A cake-walk, if you will. The UK has relied on pure chutzpah, if that’s not too anti-semitic, and the non-existent charisma of the likes of Dominic Raab.”
Cake-walk, or sleep-walk? The UK needs to hit its stride properly before the EU tells it to take a hike.