Leading Brexiters confess it was always the intention to catch and release the fishing folk’s vote

Leading Brexiters have given interviews to quell concerns over the breaking of promises made to fishing communities during and after the EUref campaign.

”I have to confess it was always the intention to catch and release the fishing folk’s vote,” Jacob Rees-mogg admitted from the deck of the luxury yacht he keeps moored in his moat, “I hope the explanation that you’ve all been duped based on not knowing the basic facts helps?”

”It was blindingly clever,” Nigel Farage said, while waiting to meet a Russian woman on a park bench, “if you know people won’t bother fact-checking emotive assurances you can pretty much get enough to back you in anything.

I mean, all I have to do is phone up a BBC producer and promise the taxpayer funded broadcaster a spike in ratings and revenue and I’m booked. Their little hearts always beat faster. Their mind fogs. It’s like taking candy from a baby.”

Kate Hoey MP, somehow, was also approached for comment, but she was too busy threatening Snow White for comment.

As to how the communities affected by one of the last promises of Brexiters to be broken are feeling?

”Don’t ask a leading Brexiter,” Dan Hannan said, while putting the finishing touches to a mixed media statue of Satan, utilising various pasta forms and hate glue, “we really couldn’t give a flying fish.”

Mr Hannan later phoned back to correct his statement.

”I meant to say we couldn’t give a flying shit,” he added, “anyone who votes for us is a willing pawn in our plan to asset strip the U.K. to its bones while we tear up the red tape.

By red tape I mean legislation protecting worker’s rights, gender equality, access to health and education, racial equality, voting, basically anything that makes a society more fair and prosperous but means a smidgen less cash in an offshore bank account.

Can I take this opportunity to thank Jeremy Corbyn for getting populist on immigration and wages too? It really does help us.”

Sadly it looks like many have bought into the Brexit agenda hook, line and sinker.

But it’s not too late to stop drag netting the bottom of our politic and resurface, although the sun is already over the yardarm, it’s no time to stand easy if we value our democracy.

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