I’M A MAN OF MY WORD, I DO EXACTLY WHAT I SAY I WILL DO: Nigel Farage, who didn’t leave the UK after the abject failure of Brexit, despite promising to do so, is at it again.
Farage is exactly the sort of man who will convince you that black is white, leading to a spike in zebra crossing deaths.
He has recently insisted that he didn’t campaign on lower council taxes, even though he did. He even claimed that a rise less than the maximum permitted 5% counts as cutting tax. A man of his word, you see.
So after his latest stunt, willy-waving with “Honest” Bob Jenrick and a couple of petrol pumps, he declared to the eagerly watching media that ‘Mine’s bigger than yours!’
Please put the nozzle away safely, Mr Farage. Zip it. Now wash your hands.
Nobody knows how expensive fuel will be following the USA’s latest Middle Eastern blunder, but it will clearly be far too costly. Farage,quite apart from cheering on the Trump bandwagon, is now trying to separate himself from the consequences of his position.
“Rising prices have nothing to do with the war in Iran!” he bellowed at anyone within earshot of the isolated petrol station. “It’s all because of woke lefties and the boat people as usual.”
But it’s a direct result of Iran closing the Gulf of Hormuz…
“No no no no no no!” he yelled. “And Keir Starmer is putting up prices by 60p a litre, while I’m lowering them!”
You’re proposing an increase of 50p a litre.
“That’s less than anybody else!” he blustered. “That counts as a price reduction!”
And yeah, but immigrants.
A man of his word, you see.
The cost of living crisis continues. Or ‘inflation’ as it’s more usually known. It’s OK, Farage will do nicely out of it, and that’s all that matters.