CONTROL ARE BOARDERS: A foreign, male, alleged criminal on his own has turned up in a small boat, and been refused entry. This is exactly the thing that Nigel Farage and his followers have demanded for years.
Only this time, of course, the migrant is Nigel Farage himself.
And the location is the Chagos Islands – an archipelago that nobody had ever heard of until the British Government made a strategic withdrawal of sovereignty.
The very word ‘sovereignty’ is like a red rag to a bully, so naturally Farage was on the first cheap flight to the middle of nowhere to bluster and rage at a coral atoll in the middle of the Indian Ocean.
This is, frankly, the Privileged Establishment Elite’s version of shouting at hotels.
Chagos joins the exclusive list of places that Farage has visited once for self-publicity. Other such places include the House of Commons and Clacton.
Chagos Islands spokesman Chukka Fashout vowed to deport Farage to “the nearest safe country”, in accordance with established principles laid down by Farage himself. “The Maldives are close, but hardly safe,” he said. “They are full of angry Brits who have been forcibly removed from Chagos. They could start running cheap flags up lampposts at any minute. Already they have vandalised a number of mini roundabouts. This could end very, very badly indeed.”
Fashout reflected on his alternatives. “Somalia – full of pirates, of course. India – hardly safe for a man like Farage, let’s be honest. Madagascar – full of talking animals, have you seen the film? There is only one viable alternative. Antarctica.”
It looks like Farage is soon going to be surrounded by a load of penguins. He will be forced to assimilate, which in this case means joining a dance routine, while not going on long fishing trips. Still, at least he will finally be able to do something about the local fisheries.
Chat shit, get banged. Funny how that works.