BBC Director of Political Programming stands for election as Clacton MP

LOATHE HIM OR LOATHE HIM : The man who put the multi into tasking, the BBC’s Director of Political Programming, is seeking to add another in-tray to his leaning tower of work Pisa.

Not content with being sole media content director at the national broadcaster, alongside Tory Party leader, Donald Trump fluffer and a major policy steer for Labour, Nigle Fartage is looking to spend one day a week hearing complaints about bin collections while seagulls fight infants for scraps on the seafront.

Admittedly he may only have the time to commit to Clacton after his role as unofficial Russian Foreign Policy Attaché to 10 Downing Street was reduced to a part-time position.

”It’s a virtuous circle,” an insider close to the Director told LCD Views, “what better way to ensure his limited company, Refcuk, gets more airtime on the Beeb than to be an MP? Before long the UK media landscape will look like the poster for Being John Malkovich, only the man featured will be Britain’s greatest patriot since Law Haw-Haw!”

When questioned how he would feel if the people of Clacton decide not to elect him as their representative, the insider was nonchalant.

”He prefers working remotely anyway. Any actual responsibility and he won’t have the free time to dream up more ways to put British turds on British beaches again. That is, make the most of Brexit.”

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