YOU’VE LOST YOUR MARBLES MATE : GLOBAL BRITAIN’S world beating Prime Minister, Rishi “The Hammer” Sunak has reportedly denied claims he is unwilling to meet Greek Prime Minister Mitsotakis and said “there are always conditions to be met before meetings between heads of state.”
Quite how the Greek PM failed to understand this routine fact of international relations is anyone’s guess, but 10 Downing Street has allegedly stressed it has communicated with the Greeks and it’s likely that a meeting will now take place “after Mr Sunak’s afternoon nap and nappy change. But not to bring anything with too much sugar in it if they want Mr Sunak to sit still and concentrate”.
“The PM isn’t bothered about currency,” a 10 Downing Street spokesman is said to have said, “we’ve an election to fight. What’s important is to fill the coffers of the Tory Party.”
When pressed what they meant by that the spokesman shuffled some papers before shrugging and elaborating.
“Okay, Mitsotakis isn’t a US private health provider, he isn’t a dodgy developer, he isn’t a roaming international kleptocrat looking to establish a charter city within the UK, but that doesn’t mean he can’t stump up some money for a meeting. He just needs to make a sizeable donation to the Conservative Party’s war chest and then he’s in the door by morning tea.”
It’s not clear whether or not the Greek PM will be prepared to donate in order to meet Mr Sunak.
“Then it just shows what novices they are,” the spokesman added, “pay to play, that’s how we play in Global UK.”
It is understood though, that even if the Greek PM does donate in order to meet with Mr Sunak, there is one topic that will not be up for discussion.
“Don’t even bother bringing up the Marbles. Stop the Boats is starting to get a little thin, so we need something else to get the raging xenophobes in our base red faced over or they won’t come out to vote.”