IT’S A GAME OF TWO HALVES, BRIAN: The UK’s relegation was confirmed after a weak display in the final match of the season. Even VAR couldn’t save the day for the hapless UK.
What went wrong for the team that almost pulled off a shock win last time out? Was it injuries, a change of manager mid-season, or players not pulling their weight? Analyst Peter Principal looks at the evidence.
“There are so many ways that it went wrong,” explained Principal. ‘A lot of it is to do with unrealistic expectations. If you come from nowhere and have one single great season, you expect more of the same. But if you don’t invest in key areas you go right back where you came from!”
And investment has been cut, and more cuts threatened. So in a way, the UK is paying the price for being cheap?
“Exactly,” confirmed Principal. “In this business you speculate to accumulate. But team selection was an issue too. The team was always packed with right wingers. Nobody would play on the left, or even the centre. We got pulled out of position too easily, and left our opponents an open goal.”
Management was also an issue.
“Yeah, Johnson always sets his teams up the same way, and almost forced victory through charisma and bullshit alone. But he got found out in the end,” said Principal. “Then Truss had that disastrous spell in charge, running the show like a six year old playing FIFA. Finally, boring, more competent Sunak took over, but the damage was done. We just weren’t good enough at the end of the day, Brian.”
So next year, the UK will compete in the far less prestigious CPTPPvision Song Contest instead. Hopes are not high, but there was one note of optimism.
“At least we finished higher than Germany.”