MORE MONEY THAN SENSE : GREAT BRITAIN’S first Prime Minister for 2023, Rishi “Richie Rich” Sunak, has come up with a world beating plan to tackle the ramped up NHS waiting lists, and pretend the NHS isn’t in total collapse.
While woke, lefty, snowflake, yoghurt knitting idiots point to years of wrongheaded reorganisation, done to splinter the NHS and make it vulnerable to profiteering vulture capitalists, underfunding, disincentivising the workforce, negative immigration policies, running the pandemic like a public cash for Tory donor takeaway service, and a broader ecosystem of human hating economic policies, which pile extra burden on the health service, Sunak knows the real problem is some teenagers don’t study enough maths.
“Maths is like a sentence and some students aren’t serving their sentences long enough,” a 10 Downing genius tells LCD Views, while pointing to the above paragraph as an ideal sentence length. “And just think of the advantages of boosting a fantasy policy to capture a day’s headlines? That’s one day everyone isn’t focusing on the lethal mismanagement of the NHS from central government. That’s canny politics.”
Supporters of the plan to make kids study calculus at eighteen, regardless of the fact they may have no inclination or gift for it, and could profitably be doing something else, say the plan has innumerable benefits.
“It’s not just distracting the news cycle for a day from the collapse of the NHS,” one Tory brain box screams, blood surging through his veins, “it also distracts from the fact we’ve catastrophically mismanaged the economy since 2010, worsened the Channel crossing problem, trashed the UK’s international reputation with Brexit, deeply harmed our food security, overseen an energy price crisis like another golden profiteering opportunity for chums, have zero empathy for anyone not born with a silver spoon up their jacksie and so can’t understand why hungry people are striking, and so much more.”
Although critics point out, you don’t have to be a genius at maths to count the ways the Tories have harmed the UK, you just have to live here for a day. We can all stand outside and clap to that.