BREAKING : Boris Johnson names new Ethics Advisor

IF IT WALKS LIKE A DUCK : The UK’s world leading Prime Minister, Boris Johnson, has proven once again that there’s no job vacancy he can not fill in the UK after he instantly replaced his old Ethics Advisor with a new one.

The role of Ethics Advisor to the PM is one of the most coveted in public life as the Prime Minister pays “zero attention” to the advice and just does “whatever the sperm bubbling up around his spinal column demands” day in and day out.

But the new man is expected to be a more active advisor based largely on the fact he’s essentially been doing the job for years.

The appointment will raise hackles in both the USA and Russia though, with the Russian President believing he was likely to succeed Lord Geidt in a function he’s invested millions into over the last decade. Former President Donald Trump is also reported to be “out of sorts”, as he sees himself as Mr Johnson’s “spiritual godfather”.

How long Rupert Murdoch will last in the post is not clear though, given his great age.

“Rupert will move fast,” a 10 Downing Street insider told LCD Views. “He hasn’t quite completed his life long mission to destroy UK democracy, driven by a cultural cringe he imbibed and deeply resented the UK over in his Antipodean childhood. But with Mr Johnson he believes he has the right man to finish the job before he leaves this life to burn the gates of Heaven to the ground.”

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