MIRROR IMAGES : BRITAIN’S MOST ECONOMICALLY ILLITERATE CHANCELLOR SINCE THE LAST TORY CHANCELLOR, RISHI SUNAK, is said to be feeling “safe” and “happily styling his hair again” this morning after reaching a mental “happy place” over the Partygate fines.
Speculation had been building for some time that both the Prime Minister and the born to rule power pack of neoliberal economic horseshit, aka Sunak, may have to resign their positions in disgrace if found guilty of breaking the lockdown law. Happily for both men they retain the support of Tory colleagues who “can no longer recognise anything approaching dignity” or their duty to uphold representative democracy.
It does not necessarily mean the Chancellor will stay on though after his plan to “squeeze the last ounce of aspiration and cash” out of the great unwashed has been made more tricky by his family’s tax affairs.
“We’re taking it one day at a time,” an unreliable and likely invented source inside No 11 Downing Street told LCD Views. “We are continuing in our power struggle with Mr Johnson and hope that leaking more information about lawbreaking inside No 10 won’t backfire next time. As soon as Johnson finishes playing at being a war leader we’ll go again. We’ve got the time and we’ve got the money.”
Quite what the British public is supposed to make of the gross hypocrisy at the highest levels of government isn’t a concern.
“People will be too busy collecting firewood from the commons to heat their dirty hands over in their frozen living rooms to worry about what their betters are up to.”
An added advantage of refusing to resign for both breaking the law and misleading parliament is that it’s another “notch of Johnson’s governmental bedhead”.
“He’s basically shagged democratic accountability senseless by lying to the Queen and getting away with. Also by taking the country out of the EU on the back of a pack of lies. So to have been found to have been criminally partying while most people did the right thing and stayed home really shows the British public is complete and absolute determination to screw them senseless. They keep voting for us. They must want it.”