DO NOT PASS GO, DO NOT COLLECT £200: The best way to end a conflict is to refuse to appease a dictator. According to Go Home Secretary Priti Patel, appeasement means housing refugees fleeing from war waged by sociopathic dictators.
And once you start to accept foreigners across your borders – even deserving ones – you risk creating a free for all, a flood of migrants, a swarm of filthy foreign freeloaders invading willy nilly. These will create strains on the NHS, the education services, and probably everything else that can’t cope because of savage government cuts.
The trouble is that, once Putin realises that the UK is such a soft touch, he is bound to displace lots more foreigners from lots more countries. This in turn will reveal the failures of the British government, and that is inexcusable.
“Putin should leave the bullyin’ to me!” smirked Patel. “It’s a sign of strength! It’s about time we were showin’ Uncle Vlad who’s in charge here. He must not be encouraged to do any more invadin’! We will not be puttin’ Putin in control!”
Patel was convinced of Putin’s intentions.
“Next thing we know he will be wantin’ to invade Poland!” she shrieked. “If we allow refugees into the UK, then before you know it he will occupyin’ all of Europe, and sendin’ a hundredty dozen and eleventy froggies and krauts over here. That’s not what we voted for! They won’t all pay £50 to get out of Europe free!”
It’s the end of the world as we know it, she claimed. And it could all be prevented by takin’ a hard line on refugees.
“We are leadin’ the world as usual!” she boasted. “Closin’ the borders is the only way of tellin’ Putin where we are drawin’ the line! Otherwise it’s Ukraine today, the rest of the world tomorrow, and that simply won’t be happenin’!”
Bein’ nice is a weakness. Tough on war, tough on the casualties of war.