GET ON WITH IT : BRITISH PRIME MINISTER BORIS JOHNSON has revealed a world leading plan to assist with the dramatic refugee crisis ongoing as the Russian invasion of Ukraine continues.
“No one with a heart could fail to be moved by the images we are seeing,” a 10 Downing Street spokesman told LCD Views. “This explains the speed at which Downing Street and the Home Secretary are moving.”
The plan is said to be centred on “sound bites” and the “appearance of activity” while in actuality “dragging our heels like a mule”. It’s believed it is motivated by a deep concern that the racists in the PM’s base support will start to “lose their shit and go red in the face on QT” if too many vulnerable people receive British support.
“It’s easier clearly,” a spokesman for 10 Downing Street told LCD Views. “These are white Christians so there’s not all that confusion like in more recent refugee crises. But they’re probably still commies and so…well…if your entire intellectual appetite is the Daily Mail or the Telegraph, it’s a journey to assist anyone.”
But to reinforce the perception that something is being done the actual six points have been stated.
- Dither
- Delay
- Have Liz post pictures on Instagram
- PM to pose with soldiers
- Create a confusing and mind boggling system to access visas.
- Explain how we’re leading the world ad nauseam until it all goes away.
There is also an unpublished seventh point which is understood to be “privately grin like a Cheshire Cat that Putin’s war has swept the Partygate scandals and the alleged pandemic mass fraud by Tory donors right off the front pages.“