CHANGE TOMORROW, CHANGE YESTERDAY, BUT NEVER CHANGE TODAY: It’s time to move on. No, not Boris Johnson, but all this talk about him being obliged to resign as Crime Minister.
The charge sheet against Johnson is truly world beating. Botched Brexit deal, inadequate and negligent covid response, breaking the rules, lying, permitting shit in rivers, changing the rules to exonerate a guilty MP, and of course a hundred crimes against fashion. But the work must still get done, and Boris Johnson is the man to ignore it. “I can’t step down now, I’m in the middle of Prime Ministering,” is the official line.
“I see no reason to even suggest this,” said the man himself, in a remarkable five seconds of relative lucidity. “Do you not realise, ipso facto, yes, yes, yes, no, well, of course, that the suggestion is, erm, erm, erm, ridiculous, I’m sorry if you feel that my performance is not up to your Woke expectations, semper eadem, wiff waff, pull the other one, West Ham United nil.”
That clarifies matters enormously.
“Now is not the time!” thundered Johnson decisively, reaching for a go-to catchphrase. “You don’t change urinals mid-stream, if you cut off one head another always grows backwards, never make a promise to a filly that you intend to keep! I will see this job through if it kills you!”
He has a point, though quite what this point is seems to elude him.
Who would we get if Johnson did go? Billionaire man-of-the-people Sunak? Gove, the eternal Brutus? Or the latest pork market-fancying empty vessel, Truss? The lack of depth in the cabinet is truly world beating.
It is possible that Johnson has accidentally reversed into the truth. Maybe now is not the time. Maybe he should be given enough rope, so that he will metaphorically hang himself.
And then we can hang him out to dry.