BRING A LONG SPOON : The Institute for Fascist Economics, a key supporter of both Brexit and the UK government, has used its daily time slot on the BBC breakfast programmes to promote the advantages of increasing food insecurity in the United Kingdom.
“Less is more,” Random Attractive Young Woman Chosen To Appeal To Sex Starved Ageing Gammon told viewers of Sunday morning chat show ‘Breaking the Fast’, presented by Any Number of Conservative Party Members Placed Into The Beeb To Further Satan’s Agenda.
RAYWCTATSSAG went on to enlarge on the subject, looking directly into the camera.
“In the old days when Britain was an empire wives would use all the imagination available to them to cook nutritious meals from a peace of dried bacon rind found on the street and the dust they swept up in the hall. It took imagination to wow your family and guests. But in recent years, due to the food tyranny of the unelected bureaucrats in the EU, British kitchens have suffered from a famine of the mind. It’s been far too easy to take control of British sovereign waters by lulling everyone into a stupor with a stable and high quality food chain. Now sovereignty has returned to British kitchens and it is the patriotic duty of housewives to make the most of it. Like sovereignty itself, cooking is all in the mind.”
RAYWCTATSSAG went on to suggest that the empty shelves and the coming famine would see “British cooks become world leaders in traditional British dishes such as ‘The Neighbours’ and ‘The Pets’. The current supply chain issues are the fault of the EU anyway, so Britons have to make the best of it and draw lots like shipwrecked sailors.”
The pro-Brexit Think Tank went on to suggest that “Once a snappy slogan is thought up you’ll all feel much happier about all of it”, before changing subject and suggesting it was time to “Privatise the NHS to improve patient care.”