LIFE’S A BEACH : The United Kingdom is being governed by geniuses, everyone agrees, and not just any geniuses, it’s the geniuses who delivered Brexit.
“It’s just as well we’ve got a bunch of guys who can half remember some Latin or Greek running the show,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “Can you imagine the state of things if we had some proper girly swots in charge? You know the type. Head always buried in a book. That wouldn’t have gotten Brexit done! We’d have stumbled on minor details like, Europe has a shortage of HGV drivers, so we better not end FOM.”
Happily as the days pass the stellar quality of the brains behind Britain becomes more and more apparent. From driver shortages, to worker shortages and on into chicken shortages. It’s a win a day now.
“Some critics are saying we need to talk about Brexit,” the source adds, “but they’re just jealous they didn’t get any PPE deals. Envy of your betters is never a good look. Just be happy there will be a job we class as low skilled waiting for your kids at the end of their education. Clearly people who had the forethought to have better accidents of birth will buy their children high grades and better prospects. It’s just the natural way of things in Britain.”
In spite of this upbeat assessment of Global Britain’s prospects there is now just one dark cloud on the horizon.
“Oh that business in Afghanistan will soon blow over,” the source shrugs. “You wait by next week the tabloids will be back to hating on refugees and it’ll be business as usual. As surely as the end of the pingdemic will see all UK supply chain issues resolve themselves, the Taliban will stick to their agreements. After all, if they don’t they’ll have Johnson and Raab to deal with.”