GLOBAL BRITAIN LEAVES : British Prime Minister Boris Johnson has made a proper example of himself in recent years, especially when it come to adhering to the promises he’s made, but doesn’t intend to keep.
“To move the gaslighting from domestic to international was a tour de force,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “I don’t believe too many of our elder statesman would have had the balls to try it on with the unelected EU, but Johnson did. He’s got sufficient spunk for any blag. Girlfriend, the Great British Public or EU Council President.”
And the example of Mr Johnson will be key as the re-emerging powerhouse of Brexitannia cuts its own path through the thickets of international cooperation and statecraft.
“It seems the wily old Taliban aren’t that concerned about sticking to the agreement they made with Donald Trump. Which is a shock. Donald Trump is such a great deal maker. Boris Johnson is going to have a word with them.”
It’s believed Mr Johnson will draw on his deep personal experience at having Lord Frost negotiate the Withdrawal Agreement with the EU.
“Just say whatever you need to get them to shut up and sign it,” the source explains. “It worked a treat to get Brexit done. Worry about the fall out after you’ve got the desired result.”
The advice on offer to the extremists over in Afghanistan will be specially targeted.
“Look. You’ve made a commitment. You’ve given your word. You’ve got the result you required in the short term. Now do whatever you like and let other people worry about it. Just think about getting a human shield in case you need plausible deniability down the road. Get yourself a Lord Frost and have him issue most of the threats to tear up the agreement. Just follow Mr Johnson’s example.”
And if you’ve some spare US cash lying about after the evacuation of Western forces?
“Buy a peerage.”