GUESS WHO’S HOPING TO SCORE TONIGHT: Our Glorious Leader is merrily hopping on to the most obvious bandwagon available. This is fine, according to the man who can’t tell Harry Kane from Harry Potter.
Rumours continue to persist that Johnson has already paid someone to write two columns, one celebrating England’s Glorious Victory, one bemoaning England’s Gallant Loss. With any luck, the Daily Telegraph will print the correct one tomorrow morning.
This is a man whose reputation suggests that when he hears the phrase “Sterling’s taken a tumble!”, he instantly checks his investments.
After all, Boris Johnson’s principal talent appears to be cosplaying, not governing. Who shall I be today? A sausage maker? Fork lift truck driver? Football fan? His entire existence seems to have been a series of gestures, and the fact that he claims otherwise carries no weight.
Gesture politics is a bad way to do the business of governing, he claims. His actions suggest that, even if this is true, it’s what he does regardless. However, there seems to be nothing wrong with hastily pulling on an England top over his shirt and tie, to cheer on Our Boys as they win successive matches of the kicky ball game.
So let this fool take his undeserved moment in the spotlight. Let’s savour the moment, and wait for the laughs as Gareth Southgate asks him whether that really should have been a penalty, and he starts talking about vaccines instead.
Hopefully we can get back to the usual business of politics once this is all over. Back to the business of gesture politics like clapping the NHS, slagging off the EU, and Brexit.
Actually, on second thoughts, let’s not. Instead of these empty, futile gestures, why not celebrate our inclusivity, our teamwork, our full integration into European competition, that determine the success of our sporting teams.
In contrast, politically we have the exact reverse with Brexit. They think it’s all over. It is now.