MASK ON MASK OFF : The decision of the United Kingdom to let the weirdest and most damaged attention seekers it can find govern it is bearing real and tangible fruit today. COBRA is to meet to decide what to do about the latest SEVERE threat to the statue of Winston Churchill.
“We can’t have FREEDOM DAY on the 19th of July if the greatest Englishman EVER is choking on a piece of fabric in the afterlife,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views. “We didn’t singlehandedly defeat fascism nearly 80 years ago not to constantly reference it in a public health emergency.”
The threat itself appears to have been delivered via a fever dream to a member of the CRG.
“You know the Covid Recovery Group? If you don’t you should. They’re your government. They did the research that GOT BREXIT DONE. Now they’ve turned their laser hot sociopathy to GETTING COVID DONE. Essentially some of you will die, and they’re okay with that. But that doesn’t mean that an inanimate statue has to suffer to achieve victory over the concept of sanctity of life.”
Quite what will be done to protect the statue isn’t clear, with the police already over tasked ignoring the allegedly provable crimes of the high and mighty.
“We’ll have to deploy the army,” the source continues. “That is ultimately the solution to any problem. I mean we could employ the army to assist us in eliminating the virus within our borders within weeks and not need masks at all. But that is an act of out of the box thinking your PM and his handlers aren’t prepared to consider. Not while the pandemic is covering up for Brexit.”
The public however can play their part.
“You can help. All you have to do is give up any pretence of concern for the people around you. Then gather around the Churchill statue on the 19th of July and breathe. Breathe. Breathe in the air.”
Freedom Day will happen.
“Some of you will die. But we’re okay with that.”