MONEY IS FUNNY : The biggest news in Brexitannia so far this week is that the Chancellor of the Exchequer Rishi “Dishy” Sunak has a puppy!
The dog who may or may not spend quality time with the UK’s architect of ‘Eat Out To Help Out’, the delay to last year’s winter lockdown and something fishy about David Cameron and lobbying. But the dog won’t mind, even if someone is hired to look after him the majority of his life he’ll get to see Sunak for bi-annual photo shoots.
“The dog is just amazing,” an aide to the Chancellor told LCD Views. “He is toilet trained! Which is more than you can say for most of the cabinet. Although they can nod and heel on command.”
The arrival of the dog also has benefits for everyone in the UK.
“No one is going to care about the unwinding of pandemic financial support in the age of Brexit now they know that Rishi has a dog,” the aide continued. “My entire family has just come down with the killer plague, which walked in our doors from school, but who cares? Rishi has a puppy! I’ll think of that when I’m monitoring my blood oxygen levels later and smile.”
And the benefits of Sunak getting a dog don’t stop there.
“The stubborn EU have got a finger in the eye! Rishi couldn’t have purchased a pedigree pup if we hadn’t got Brexit done.”
The puppy also deals with the niggling news today that the UK government have failed to secure a deal on access for the UK’s financial sector to the biggest trading bloc on Earth.
“Who cares if the UK’s financial sector withers down to firms solely considered with efficient tax arrangements, and the tax take is lower, and austerity needs to return. Rishi has a dog!”