STATE SECRETS : Downing Street is to fulfil its promise to crackdown on the rampant problem of voting fraud in U.K. ballots.
While overseas dark money interfering in British democracy isn’t seen as an issue, the one person who attempted to impersonate someone a few years back, and got caught, is seen as indicative of a chronic issue.
“Everyone is getting into a flap over ID cards and completely missing the extreme benchmark we’ve now set,” a disgruntled 10 Downing Street source tells LCD Views. “The question section which must now be completed successfully to even gain entry to a polling station makes our electoral security the toughest on Earth.”
What is your favourite colour is one of the questions, and should prove passable for all but the indecisive. But the other question is a killer.
“What are the names of all of Prime Minister Boris Johnson’s children?” the source grins. “No one is going to be able to answer it. We’ve completely stitched up the ballot box. It’s genius.”
But critics have suggested that Downing Street may have been too clever by half. Several have suggested that it’s possible even the PM himself won’t be able to answer.
”That’s no problem. He’ll just break the new rule. There will be an inquiry after he’s re-elected to office with 100% of the vote. Months. Maybe years after. And even if he’s found to have broken the law nothing will happen at all.”
The Mother of Parliaments, setting standards post Brexit others can only dream of following.