Famous British actor Keanu Reeves is rumoured to have pulled out of filming Speed 3: Hard Brexit “The hostage who refuses to negotiate”, citing lack of an agreed script and not wanting to star in a farce.
LCD Views’ ‘democracy is entertainment’ correspondent spoke to Mr Reeves’ agent to learn more about his reasons.
”Canoe doesn’t want to do a period drama where you have to improvise your lines darlinnnnnnng,” Chevy Chase said.
”When he agreed to reprise his role as tough hostage negotiator Jack Kerouac alongside Anna Soubry, he was told the screenplay was so tight you could drink it neat.
He wasn’t told he would be playing an abstract concept called the Single Market.”
But if onset rumours are accurate there is still daily improvisation of the script and constant writing of new lines.
”It’s a very confused plot too,” Chevy went on, “Kanu is supposed to be negotiating the release of nearly 70M people from the grips of an evil mastermind, someone guy called Barnier, but he doesn’t have a cat and the mastermind is okay with everyone going because he’ll eventually get all their wealth afterwards.
But the leader of the hostages is demanding the super villain keeps them for longer because they don’t know what they’ll do when they get out. It’s a bit silly.
He says his character has always been a straight role, but Speed 3 : Hard Brexit is a farce.
I don’t really want him wasting his time for only £200M a week when I’ve got him the role of a space sloth toy figurine in the next Star Wars.”
In spite of the abrupt withdrawal of the star, the production is expected to just keep filming.
”Its a massive tax scam, that’s what I think,” Chevy opined, “I cant see why else you’d be sinking billions into a movie with no script, a clueless director and a story line that sucks the reason for being alive out of over half its audeince.”
If they do get Hard Brexit in the can it’s expected to be released by March 2019, but it’s just as likely the film’s backers will decide to flush it.