TAKE THAT EU : Amazing news for freedom loving, patriotic, Global Britons today with the announcement of sweeping changes happening across the U.K., thanks to Brexit.
And it’s not all just catch up to things Germany and France have already done, curiously before the U.K. completed Brexit.
The latest big announcement today is a change to the country’s symbols. With the UK’s coats of arms seeing amazing changes. Not just the Royal Ones, all the useless ones too.
“From midnight today, GMT time, a VAT Free Tampon will be added to all coats of arms,” a 10 Downing Street source told LCD Views, “bit of a scoop for you to hear it all first. Don’t leak it. But when you do say a Downing Street source told you.”
But if something is being added something else maybe coming away?
“Yes. The lion is out. Because that’s a bit bloody French. So the tampon will take its place. A great British invention, completed just the time for Brexit. Take that EU!”
And to ensure that the EU really can’t miss this dramatic symbol of UK’s new status as a sovereign equal, the PM himself is involved.
“Tomorrow BoRiS Johnson will dress as a patriotic, Union Jack coloured tampon and roar at France from the White Cliffs of Dover. Being sure not to get run over by an earthmover obviously. We don’t want his eminence lying down in front of one!”
And for sticklers to tradition there is reassurance it’s not all change. The Unicorn is staying.”
“As nothing better symbolises Brexit than a fantasy animal with a horn on its head.”