BY BREXIT’S WORKS WILL WE BE KNOWN : THE STAR STUDDED PERFORMANCE OF THE UK since 2016 has really caught the attention of everyone on Earth.
But now as the lorry queues grow at British ports even the astronauts orbiting our spinning ball of hot rock are starting to pay attention.
During the standard call back to Earth last night, astronauts aboard the ISS reported that the UK had changed.
“The unicorn has been at the centre of England for a few years,” Astronaut Buck Rodgers told LCD Views exclusively, “and there’s been an even bigger elephant that’s normally to be found next to it. Although that was missing last night? We’re presuming somebody ate it. The whale is always off the coast somewhere. That’s because every night John Redwood sings to it. But there’s a new wonder to be seen from the heavens now.”
And the new wonder of modern Britannia is the ever growing queue of trucks backed up behind Dover.
“It’s impressive. We normally look out for the Great Wall of China, but I can tell you the Kent lorry queue is even bigger. I’m blown away. It takes some serious effort to take a JIT RORO based economy and completely shaft it like this. Amazing leadership.”
Speaking for the government, Dominic Raab, was having none of it.
“This just shows the importance of being a free and independent, sovereign country,” he told LCD Views, “the fact that an international terror group like ISS are targeting the UK from Space, shows the transition period can’t end soon enough.”