NO TIME TO LOSE : A well placed and entirely fictitious Downing Street source has confirmed today that an official slogan has been adopted to make best use of the unending bin fire of the Johnson/Cummings’ premiership.
“Nunc est tempus procedens reprehendat studium primus minister,” the source said, “old Jacob had his children do the translation as part of their home schooling.”
The release of the slogan is being timed for maximum benefit, with the decision of NHS staff to work without sufficient PPE continuing to distract from the business of sensible and pragmatic governance.
“It’s really a gift,” the source went on, “both the Prime Minister’s new motto and Covid-19. We thought we’d need the cover of No Deal Brexit to completely remake the U.K. in the image of US corporate interests, but here’s a distracting virus. Two dead cat rich environments for the price of one!”
You couldn’t make it up.
But it wasn’t all plain sailing, with a raft of different ancient languages in the running for the slogan.
Latin was eventually chosen, after fierce debate between Johnson and his SPADS at Chequers, over a bottle of Chateau Lator 1950, as Latin is believed to be more accessible to the average voter, even though Mr Johnson’s personal choice was half remembered Ancient Greek.
Which only adds to speculation about who is really running the government. But now is not the time to ask that question either.