Wetherspoons, the Brexit loving zero hours contracting bargain bucket beer floggers, are backing British intellects. They are celebrating the victory by the lying Leavers by insisting that drinkers take, and fail, a spelling test.
Before accepting an order, harassed and underpaid bar staff must ask their cut-price customers to type a Brexit trope into a tablet attached to the till. The till will not open, and the cheap beer will not be served, if the customer spells it correctly.
Acceptable tropes include Brexit means Brexit, We won get over it, and We got are cuntrie’s back.
Dissident smartarses pointed out that the more you drank, the less likely you are to spell anything correctly. But that’s not the point, claimed a ‘Spoons spokesbeermat. Instead, it is designed to prevent smartarses from getting served in the first place.
“It’s just not acceptable!” said boffin Mort Aboard. “Why should the liberal intellectual elite be prevented from enjoying discount ale in a bland establishment with sticky carpets?”
“It’s quiet simple,” replied the spokesbeermat, Nat Spyss. “Are customers wont to drink they’re larger in piece without being bothered by remoner snowflakes melting every were.”
Aboard insists that he and his friends would just like a quiet pint in peace while they do the Times crossword or play chess. “We are not a threat to Mr Spyss or anyone else,” he said. “We are happy to ignore the lowlifes who get political information from a beer mat, while we savour the hoppy top notes of Farage’s Fruity Flatulence.”
“Chess?” exclaimed Spyss in disbelief. “The flippin’ pansies! The so-called elites want to turn this cuntrie’s into a bleedin’ homework club! We wont to get bladdered, have lots of larger and smoke as many fags as we wont, innit, without some killjoy soshal… soascial… lefty git tellin’ us how to live are lives. I’m tellin’ it like it is. We carnt leave the EU fast enuff!”
Let’s face it. Intellectual liberal elite types are much more at home in a wanky craft beer outlet.