NOT WAVING DROWNING : HER MAJESTY Queen Elizabeth II is finally putting her foot down with all the wayward boys causing her so much grief. At least that’s as the rumour mill has it. She’s going to put them in a room together and forget about it.
“Queen Elizabeth II isn’t giving too much away, at least not in words,” a palace insider, closely situated to someone who was waved at once by Her Majesty in the gardens of Buckingham Palace, told LCD Views (it’s an exclusive), “but it’s fair to speculate that she is finding the re-electing of the syndicate that deceived her into unlawfully proroguing parliament, just a little bit ticklish. Do the British people care for the monarchy anymore? Or do they see it about as pointless as electing a parliament via FPTP?”
But the re-election of Boris Johnson and crew does at least provide the aged monarch with an opportunity to exercise some pent up frustration.
“Andrew keeps phoning and texting to ask what the bloody hell he is supposed to do with his life now?” the insider continued, “of course he can still privately promote his passion for selling British munitions, but to be removed from royal duties? That’s a lot of standing around and pretending to like the people around you time to fill.”
So maybe a series of one offs? A sort of zero hours royal contract?
“That’s the solution. And that way Boris Johnson’s new government gets the right royal touch it deserves to start it.”