SPILT MILKY GOVES : Is there now no honour among thieves? Gove is not keeping his powder dry today over claims Boris Johnson rigged the Tory Party leadership vote to ensure Gove was kept out of the final two.
“The only legitimate rigged vote is one in which I’m a winner!” Gove is rumoured to have slammed Boris, “we used to rig votes together.”
And it seems likely that the big winner of the taste of sour grapes will be Jeremy Hunt.
“Gove knows where Boris Johnson’s soft spots are,” our Westminster bubble insider advises, “he used that knowledge to destroy Boris in the leadership race in 2016 and you can bet your bottom dollar he’s already phoned Jeremy Hunt to offer his services now.”
But the alleged gerrymandering of the Tory leadership vote by the Johnson team, to ensure Boris kept out anyone who thought had a snowflake’s of beating him, is really just fitting for who will be the next to lead Brexit Britain.
“It all began with a corrupted vote in 2016, so perhaps we’ve come full circle and now it will end as a result of another one?”
Reasons to be cheerful right there. Blue on blue action in the Tory camp, which desperately needs unity to pull through. It’s mirrored by the clear Red on Light Red going on inside Labour, just as the country needs unity there too. What a fucking omnishambles is Brexit.
”Boris can’t keep a promise,” our fictional insider adds, “not to anyone, judging by his actions. Not to his wives, lovers, employers, or the country. So let’s just settle back as the country slowly sinks and see what cards the latest underhand dealing leaves him holding. He’s likely to have to keep promises to Brexiters. Good luck with that! Reality holds the ace.”
And as for Gove? He’s guaranteed to be selecting his sharpest knife today and taking out the voodoo doll of Boris he keeps in his drawer. He’ll be twirling the point of the blade in the centre of the back.
There’s only one winner in all this. It isn’t the country, but in late July, for just one day, it might be Jeremy Hunt.