MAKING A MARK : LCD VIEWS has heard today from a man who is choosing who to vote for in this week’s EU parliament elections based on a colour wheel.
“It’s not an exact science,” he started by telling us, which almost led to us stopping the interview at the start.
“But I figure if I imagine various party colours combined and see what that gives me it helps narrow down my choice for the ballot box this Thursday.”
So it’s not a scientific method then and we can not advocate it?
“What colours combine to make what colours is a matter of fact,” he hit back, “if you’re going to be so sniffy why are you wasting your time interviewing me?”
You asked us to speak to you!
“So? You didn’t have to,” he shrugged, “can we just get on with it?”
Please.
“Okay. So it works like this. I feel a little bit torn about who to vote for so I look at the wheel and imagine the party logo colours mixed together,” he explained, “so if I want to vote for Labour, but I don’t like their leadership’s pro-Brexit policy then I simply imagine Labour red mixed with the colour of the party which most strongly advocates Brexit.”
So red and purple?
“Yes. Which gives you UKIP’s colours.”
Oh.
“I know, right? Same result if you mix red and a lighter blue. You end up at Brexit.”
The colours could be accused of undermining the leader…
“The colours are essentially Tory shills. Even though if you mix blue and blue you get Tory and so Brexit too.”
So what if you want to vote against Brexit? How do you use your method to choose?
“Well, you mix yellow and green you get a yellowish green or a greenish yellow.”
So anti-Brexit and action on climate change?
“That’s right. You just mix in the amount of either colour you like. So that’s narrowed it down to either Libdems, Greens, SNP or Plaid for me.”
This is an excellent method. But what about if you mix Change UK’s black and white?
“You get grey? Which seems to fit. They may need to change their logo for future elections if they want to change the system.”
But doesn’t blue and yellow get your green?
“It did get you moving there between 2010 and 2015. But that all stopped once the yellow was removed. It also got you progressive social changes, well, till the yellow was stripped out. And before you go on about the economics, red and yellow in 2010 was going to get you austerity too. But you would have had orange, which suggests all round it would have been better in the long run. It definitely couldn’t have made purple!”
Well, thank you for your time. I think I’ll use this to decide who to vote for on Thursday.
“I would have thought someone as opinionated as yourself already has.”
You’re right, but this isn’t a party political broadcast, so we’re not declaring what we’re going to do.
VOTE YELLOW OR GREEN OMFG VOTE YELLOW OR GREEN.
“What was all that shouting for?”
Nothing. Thank you for your time. Good luck with your colour wheel.