The BBC has announced it is to air a special so Brexit voting baby boomers can tell how they survived the Blitz, by way of helping encourage younger voters to build morale for a No Deal Brexit.
Hosted by Brexit treasure, Ann Widdecombe, the ten part series will screen on all BBC stations, TV and digital, during the run up to Halloween this year, with special radio adaptations for broadcast on BBC radio stations.
”It’ll finally give the demographic that supports Brexit the most a voice,” BBC Director of Programming Rupert Banks-Putin-Farage told LCD Views, “it’s high time this little understood demographic, that suffered so much for the opportunities millennials now enjoy, are given a platform.”
As part of the publicity build up to the series Ann Widdecombe billboards will be plastered all over Broadcasting House and the Beeb are working up a hologram projector to play the shows in town squares across England.
We have been shown exclusive access to some of the planned content and allowed to describe passages below.
”It wasn’t like this when I was a lad,” A. Gammon says, standing in his villa on the Costa Del Sol, “we didn’t have the problem they have here of all these bloody immigrants lowering the tone of my choice location to retire.”
A. Gammon goes on to describe the formative conditions of his early life.
”I was celebrating my fourth, or fifth birthday with my family. It must have been 1949 or 1960. Of course my time was usually spent at the front, I was involved in the Battle of Little Bighorn,
”That was one of the seismic moments of WW2. My younger sister was out volunteering at a munitions factory. This was why my elder siblings, the ones who weren’t old enough to be in the trenches at Sevastopol, held the party for me.”
A. Gammon pauses, shaking his head in recollection.
”I recall seeing the cupcake that was my birthday cake being carried into the dining room. The table was just a wooden crate, which doubled as the bed for me and my grandparents.”
He pauses again.
”Tell a lie. It was just my grandfather, myself and a neighbour using the crate to sleep in at night. When we could. The air raid sirens were relentless. My grandmother was away, working in the baggage train at Agincourt.”
He smiles and points to a long bow hung on the wall.
”She was promoted before the end of the battle by Henry V himself. She was captain of an archery squad before finally succumbing to dysentery.”
A. Gammon shrugs.
”The rocket blew up our neighbour’s house four cities away. The percussion from the blast rippled through the icing on my cake. I’ll never forget it. We still ate the cake of course. What could you do? You had to make the best of things,
“You had a properly funded state education, including university, the invention of the pill and a well resourced NHS to wade through. This is why I voted to Leave the tyrannical EU. The sacrifice I paid for freedom. Most young people don’t understand what myself and others went through to provide them with £50K plus a year, interest bearing tuition and an NHS that will be entirely owned by American private healthcare by this Saturday.”
The next clip was of J. Cordson. He was interviewed wearing his favourite gardening corduroys and turning over ground in his allotment.
”I remember the pain of thinking I’ll never get to live a revolution like the Cuban one at home. It just felt so unfair. I missed the Russian one because I was asleep. I’d made a lot of jam that day and I was tired,
”The Chinese one I missed because I was singlehandedly resolving the conflict between a local council and their thought criminal MP. And how different North Korea would have turned out with a proper insurgency into the ruling party? Moderate traitors have ruined that party,
“I missed the actual revolution there because I was organising a series of small, town hall meetings in Hertfordshire. This is why I voted for Brexit. The rights the tyrannical EU forces onto ordinary citizens, its undemocratic. It’ll run headfirst into my plans to re-nationalise gulags for thought crime. I won’t stand for it,
“I didn’t sacrifice nearly four decades being paid out of the public purse, working hard to become the multi-millionaire career politician that you see today, getting no legislation on the books at all, just to watch the chance to stop pretending I give a fig about representative, parliamentary democracy slip away now. As any of my grassroots activists will tell you, there is agreeing with us 100% of the time on every single issue, or there is being a Tory. There’s nothing in between, well, except Brexit, that’s a bridge clearly between the far left and far right. We’ve just got to see who makes the omlette after all the eggs are broken. Mind your feet there, don’t squash my marrows.”
At the end of the series famous democrat John Redwood will make a direct appeal, alongside Boris Johnson and Iain Duncan Smith, to the public to really feel the testimonies they’ve heard, get behind Brexit, and push it over the line.
”After they’ll sacrifice a child,” Rupert adds, “because by the time we get there the Blitz spirit will have been replaced by the Aztec. Hopefully we’ll be televising that too.”