BBC presenters pay to rise to £1M a year a £1 each time he says “will of the people” in the morning

LCD Views are pleased to inform the great British public of the new pay deal operating at Broadcasting House, which aims to increase the low pay of senior male presenters.

“It’s just fantastic that my patriotic work on the Today programme is finally being acknowledged,” the BBC’s most famous presenter told us, “a pound for every time I say will of the people? I’ll be a millionaire again by the end of the month!”

Equality campaigners have also welcomed the move.

“It’s an equal opportunity field,” R Ussia told us, “men and women, all right thinking, patriotic broadcasters can say will of the people. This only strengthens the motherland.”

It’s felt the timing of the move is right too. As a certain public policy agenda is set to dominate the news like a slow motion car crash all year. One BBC presenter will be guaranteed of a slot on all relevant programmes. Regardless of never saying anything that stacks up.

“Government ministers will be on daily to exhort the people to greater efforts of group think too,” the presenter added, “the BBC’s political programme presenters will have to double down on the reluctance to check the facts of what is being asserted.”

The did a bang up job on Trump’s embassy tweet yesterday.

Repeating ‘will of the people’ ad nauseum is a great way to ensure a success of Empire 2.0. Although there is some trouble in the offing with the change.

“I’m going to sue for back pay.” Humphrey Bear states, “I’ve said will of the people 947,003 times this year already in interviews with quislings attempting to undermine my nostalgic view of the past, superimposed onto the future. British exceptionalism at it’s finest.”

The BBC wouldn’t make an actual director available for interview about the change.

Which is a bit annoying as we’d like to jump on the bandwagon, not check facts anymore and grab a pound a throw for ourselves.

Will of the people. Will of the people. Will of the people. Will of the people…and on and on.

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