PANTS FIRES : Up and coming politician (and circus tent owner), Boris ‘Poundstore Trump’ Johnson (that’s his porn name), was forced into deleting one of his Tweets today when an attempt at humour backfired.
“Boris is well known for his flights of fancy,” our social media watcher commented, “most notably about how good he would be as prime minister. And it seems that deep and craven desire to be worshiped as a living god, to fill a hole so hungry in his shallow insides it’s amazing he’s not yet a supernovae, got the better of him.”
It seems the mishap occurred when Boris took to Twitter to proclaim he had received a promotion:
“I would like to ah, um, humbly, aaaarrrh, as Midas said to the golden fleece, let my people go free! And it is with the deepest sense of bondage (that’s what dating younger fillies gets you) I would like to express my fanbubbliyumshest joy at being elected to serve as the UK’s 46th Prime Minister in today’s local erections”
All so normal and so fine, so what went wrong?
“It appears he misspelt election and that’s just for starters.”
What else is wrong with the Tweet?
“Seriously?”
That’s why we pay you to be here, random figment of the imagination.
“It wasn’t a general erection yesterday and you can’t be elected prime minister by local erection results.”
Wow!
“I know. Nuts right? Our voting system really does need an overhaul.”
So are you saying, allegedly, Poundstore deliberately set out to mislead the great British public by lying?
“I’d put it another way.”
Which way?
“Boris Johnson used Twitter while breathing.”