BREAKING CONS : Seismologists working at the Institute for Predictive Karmacology, Boston (not Massachusetts) are predicting a karmic avalanche of epic scale to begin breaking over the Conservative Party from Thursday this week.
”Everyone expects them to get f c u k’d,” Professor Local Elections told LCD Views, “and so do we.”
The cause appears to be a tectonic whirlwind that the largely completely deranged idiots running the party have been sowing in the ballot substrate of the country for several years. All to keep hedge funds and racists happy, often at the same time.
”They really have excelled themselves,” the professor continued, “they’ve over promised and under delivered to Brexiters, although given what any Brexit will do to the U.K., this maybe a blessing for the party in disguise. But just to ensure no one is happy with them, they’ve completely ignored and spat at their own progressive voters (using the p word very loosely). Not many seem to know this, but there are actually a sizeable amount of Tory supporting, pro-EU voters. Well, there used to be.”
How large the scale of the karmic avalanche will be is not clear.
”Well, the lowest measure on the scale is epic and it gets worse from there,” Professor Local continues, “and when you consider universal credit and the slashing of funding to councils and the systematic ruination of so much of the social fabric of the country, yeah, the needle will be high on the dial.”
In addition to that, with just days to go before polling the party has pulled out a complete weapon in the press today.
”With prospects in the local elections already grim for the Tories, having Damian Green, who had to resign over porn on his Westminster laptop, in the press today suggesting the dementia tax is still a great idea, is really the icing on the cake ahead of polling day.”
Friday should be fun this week as the rocks and rubble, mud slides and avalanches cover many local Conservative associations under many feet of debris. No one is planning on a rescue.