House of Commons replaced by a merry go round that is powered by a nation’s screams

LCD Views has great news this afternoon for people who are sick to death of the Groundhog Day at Westminster and wondering if it will ever end?

“It won’t,” our Hammer House of Horrors specialist advises, “although I could be wrong. But not today and probably not tomorrow or The Day After Tomorrow. It’s how we govern now. One party’s internal Psycho drama has replaced actual government. This is opposed by a Silent Spring absence on the other side of the house where the LOTR’s Gandalf should be.”

The reason for the merry go around move is because nothing changes at Westminster day in and day out, while outside of it everything is going to shit. They just sit there on the benches going around and around the same centre of gravity and the centre of gravity is a word salad.

“It’s probably a mistake to have a Cheers style state subsidised bar at Westminster,” our specialist muses, “because if you have a job with a gold plated pension and you can just drink as much as you like, well, what’s the motivation to not need a drink at the end of the day?

“Why get anything done? Nothing outside the bubble really matters. This is because of the fixed term parliament act, which was quite a stitch up. It’s initial design was to give David Cameron’s Tories long enough to destroy the Libdems through Nick Clegg’s naivety. But it’s basically become endless rule now. At least that’s how it seems. Especially if the other major party is committed to the same ideolgical horror show. Also, why not lie though your teeth? You’ve got the job for five years and then you cycle back into private industry with a heaving address book of government contacts to advertise.”

Good God.

“Tell me about it. But at least the power for the merry go round will be green.”

How so?

“It’s going to be powered by the screams of the entire UK and currently, they also are endless.”

Can you still hear them Clarice? Adam, Ben, Charlotte, Sheryl, Candice, Peter…actually I’m not going to individually name everyone in the UK.

 

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *