The leadership (don’t laugh) of the Labour Party has added another incentive to their already rejected Brexit policy by stating “once they gain government very soon they will mint ‘Corbyn Coins’ for use in the fabulous Labour post Brexit economy”.
“Can you imagine seeing the face of the absolute boy every time you queue for your bread ration, before you go back to tilling your local green space?” Labour spokesman, Bazza Gardening, told LCD Views,
“it will warm your heart to know that ideologically you are pure, whatever the class traitors running Honda decide to do. And as you hand over the Corbyn Coin you are serving a higher purpose. Then you can eat as you lift the hammer high in one hand and the sickle in the other, the horizon filled with the light of a sun that is crimson, and say, our father, who art an absolute boy, I thank you this day for this slice of allotment bread,
“Imagine the looks on your children’s faces as you explain why a Labour Brexit also committed to ending freedom of movement, to stop those johnny foreigners undercutting their chimney sweeping wages?”
But while this is all well and good, and easily dismisses the concerns some in our office felt back at the start of 2017, when reading that Labour had learned from Trump’s electoral success in the US, and was going to start being more populist, what exactly the coins will be made of is causing no small amount of infighting within the party.
“Some think they should be meat based, a gammon derivative,” Bazza waffled on, and on, and on, basically just producing a word salad, “but in order to adhere to the only correct belief system, that of the magic grandfather, we believe they should be vegetarian.”
Labour had better hurry up and sort out exactly what the recipe for the Corbyn Coins will be, as it’s the most certain thing on Earth that going into the GE that will be called any day now and offering the country Lexit, as opposed to Brexit, is sure to see them command a sizeable majority. Mostly of complete and total disbelief, but still a sizeable majority. Spend it wisely.