A Brief History of Crime – the Brexiverse explained

Brexiters are seething today, as usual, at the release of a book which applies some of the complex theories simply expressed in the masterpiece by the late, great Stephen Hawking to their own Brexit universe.

”We’ve has enough of experts!” Chief Brexiter Tricky Mickey raged, after hearing of the book’s timely release, hot on the heels of the overwhelming rejection of the government’s theory on what comprises a withdrawal agreement with the EU.

An excerpt of the work is included below, purely for marketing purposes (‘A Brief History of Crime’ r.r.p. £350M per week),

“Having inflated rapidly, driven by a heated mass of self importance and idiocy, the gravitational pull of the dark matter residing in the inflated universe of Global Britain, from seconds after the moment of creation, or the Big Bang on 23/06/16, now drags the Brexiverse back in on itself, contracting unstoppably to the Big Crunch.

The dark matter itself is the residue of crime, racism, xenophobia and idiocy that was present in the infinity small dot that was the universe of Global Britain in the moments before the Big Bang was triggered by the malign being who willed to be created, or The All Thumbs god…”

The book comes in two editions, published simultaneously, one with standard English and the other in Brexglish, in order to make the book more accessible to those adherents to the debunked theory of Brexit. They’re, there, their are chosen at random throughout the text. Our is spelt are at all times, and so on.

”They’re just mocking us now,” Brexpert Tricky Mickey raged.

But is was wrong about that too, as the mocking preceeded the Brexit Big Bang and no singularity can stop it escaping faster than the speed of light.

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